Tuesday, November 30, 2010

FML

Hello Dear Readers,

I have two grievances I must air.

1. Juan Uribe is a big fat fucking ASSHOLE!!
2. Glee is fucking pissing me off!

Perhaps these two things are affecting me more than usual because of some things that have transpired in my life that have me in a bit of dither. Nonetheless I stand by my statements. Why? You may ask. The reasons are simple I need something to be mad at and since I can't yell and scream at the actual cause of my dither-ness I choose instead to vent my frustrations at two men who have never crossed my path, Ryan Murphy (the creator and writer of Glee) and Juan Uribe (the traitorous jerk who was a Giant until he became a Dodger yesterday).

Seriously Uribe?!?! You became a Dodger? You went from being a Giant to being a member of team that is the equivalent of being a Capulet and then deciding to be a Montague. Really!?!?! Do you remember your friend, and up until recently fellow Giant, Barry Zito?? Do you know what happens when you go to a rival team!?!? YOU CHOKE! YOU CHOKE YOU FAT FUCKING PRICK!! Just like Zito has never pitched worth a shit since becoming a Giant after being an A you will never EVER be a decent anything now as a Dodger. YOU ARE CURSED NOW DUMBASS!!

Oh Ryan Murphy--where shall I begin? Shall I begin with declaring you unoriginal and repetitive? Shall I ask you what the fuck possessed you to recycle the whole "Emma/Wedding" idea for this year's sectionals? Better yet, why the fuck did you revisit the whole Rachel and Puck thing--IT WAS STUPID. Also, I HATE BLAINE!! HE'S BORING!! Every time he steps on the screen I want to gouge my eyes out with rusty spoons to keep my boredom at bay. And the cliched reference to Kurt being the bird he was taking care of??!? FUCKING STUPID!! I get it Kurt's changing, he's going through a transition, well guess the fuck what--so am I! I am transitioning from Glee fan to Glee non-fan!

I feel slighty better now, also, I'm tired, but also restless and I need to try and sleep. So I bid good night and adieu....for now, sleep tight. Dream of rainbows and happy things--I will be dreaming of kicking Uribe's ass!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Thoughts for the day...

Dear Hollywood Foreign Press,

Thank you for giving Glee the Golden Globe that it deserved for best comedy, the look on Tina Fey's face when 30 Rock lost was lovely. I must cry foul however, with choosing to award best supporting actress in a television show to Chole Sevigny instead of Jane Lynch. Jane Lynch is hilarious on Glee! Chole Sevigny is weird, and so is her character, so is she really actually acting? One must ponder that question....if we all got Golden Globes for being ourselves, I'd have 50 for being a nerdy bitch.

Dear Chole Sevigny,

I'm glad that guy stepped on your dress and ripped it when you were going up to get your award! Ha ha!

Dear James Cameron,

You suck. That is all.

Dear Bret Favre,

You're an indecisive bastard who is clearly obssessed with reliving your glory days. FUCKING RETIRE ALREADY!

Dear Mother Nature,

Enough with the rain. It frizzes my hair and pisses me off--you try flat ironing it everyday!

Dear Parent Who Yelled Something Mean at My Nephew's Soccer Game Yesterday,

If your kid's team ever plays my nephew's team again and you yell at my nephew, you will never have to worry about yelling or talking again because I will rip your tongue out.

I feel better now, my grievances have been aired. Now, if I could just win the lottery I'd be set!