Thursday, January 22, 2009

Comfort Food and Homicide

"If you ate more comfort food, maybe you wouldn't go around killing people"-Hurley on "Lost"

I am hungry. Super duper hungry. Know what I would eat right now if I could? Fries from Del Taco, Tequenos from Fresca, Super Nachos from Asadero and a burger from Red Robin. Want to know why I can't eat any of those things? Carbs are in my past. Bread is dead for me. Potatoes? No ma'am. I am a one woman protein eating machine. The catch? Protein=hunger, carbs=stuffed full. So, why can't I just ditch the protein and go with the carbs? Because I have finally gotten to the point where it's a health risk. So instead of chomping on some fries I am instead forced to munch on carrots. Joy. I backed myself in to a corner and now I must reap the fruit, veggie and protein strewn consequences.

This brings me back to last night's season premiere of "Lost" when Hurley informed Sayid that he may give up his life as a vengeance seeking hitman if he indulged in burgers and fries a little more often. The moment was not only hilarious, but perhaps just slightly true.

Those of you that know me, know that I am not always exactly a ray of sunshine, but take the carbs out of me and even the brief sparks of sunniness have turned to hunger induced grouchiness and irriation (more than usual anyhow). There have been certain instances where my hunger induced grouchiness was just a touch from turning in to hunger induced rage. I wanted to slap one of my department chairs silly at least twice this week--this can't be good for my career.

So, I ask you, dear readers did Hurley have a point? Will Sayid finally eat that cheeseburger and stop killing? Will I slap my department chair silly? Or, will my hunger induced momentary lapse of sanity pass, just like the last one, and will this all be a vague memory tomorrow?

Monday, January 19, 2009


I love Oxygen. No, not the air we breathe (although I must give air its props for keeping us alive). I am referring to the cable channel known for airing such shows as "The Bad Girls Club" and some other shit I can't remember. Today, as I set out to do laundry, clean and perform other such adulthood drudgeries I noticed that there was an ANTM marathon on. I have to admit that I was stoked!

ANTM, for all you non-fiercies out there, is "America's Next Top Model" hosted by Tyra Banks. At first I was strongly opposed to this show--I had a problem with girls being judged on their beauty and size. There is still a part of me that cries out in opposition, but in the end it is just too amusing not to watch. There are so many things going on in the world yet you watch these girls obssess and ponder things such as "What really is fierce?" or "How do I pose so I smile with my eyes?" Take Marjorie for instance--she's akward, she was born in France and she constantly feels like she's not good enough. The thing that gets me is that Marjorie is super smart and she should probably be off curing cancer or writing the next great novel, but instead she's obssessing over what Tyra Banks thinks of her and bemoaning the fact that Americans will never truly understand her because she had the unfortunate luck to be born in France. Seriously? I can see being upset about the whole French thing, they were pretty wretched when I visited, but you're upset you can't smile with your eyes? Really?

I could next pick apart Tyra and how her bubble must be burst immediately, but I should probably save it, because lets face it--my problem with her is that I don't like anyone who gives me a run for my money when it comes to narcissim and self-centeredness. It's a good thing she has her money to save her from reality and I hear the dryer buzzing to bring me back to it.