Monday, March 2, 2009

Beware the Ides of March

Okay, so technically the ides of March is not until March 11th, but I think it decided to visit me early this year. No, I was not brutally stabbed by my friends while whispering "Et tu Brute?" as I crumpled to the floor of the Roman Senate, but hey it kind of felt like it. Where shall I start? Ah, yes, at the begining.

There was no new episode of BBF today. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. We only get one new episode this week. EW. The reason? The lead actress was involved in a car accident and it delayed filming so the episode that was supposed to air tomorrow is not yet completed and therefore legions of fans will be seeing the episode that was supposed to air today, tomorrow. Remember, click it or ticket bitches. I feel horrible for the lead actress, I know how traumatizing car accidents are so I will wait (un) patiently for my two new episodes next week while she recovers. I knew in my gut that this foretold a Monday that would not be great.

Fast forward to this morning. I go through the drive through at Carls to get a breakfast sandwich and coffee. They guy at the window is moving about as quickly as a slug (did I mention I was running late?) and is schlepping around instead of giving me my food. As I drive out of the drive through and down the street to get in the stupid gate before it closes my leg feels as though it has been lit on fire in a small spot. Apparently the slug at the window had not put the correct lid on my coffee cup and I was now being scalded with very hot coffee. Great. I cuss at him while listening to the radio and proceed to illegally park at the back on the gravel and grab my stuff to go to my room. Then it happens. The lid slides off of my coffee even more and my hand and arm have now been scalded to match my leg. Hooray. The rest of the morning proceeds uneventfully until lunch.

I forgot to take my allergy and asthma meds and the weather was making it bad so on my prep I hop in to my car and head for home so that I can take them and stop feeling itchy and wheezy. I walk in to my house and I am greeted by a very happy puppy but a grandma who decides to lecture me and chew me out because the puppy dragged wood in and ground it in to the front rug. Yippee. I leave my house feeling irritated and proceed to Mickey D's to console myself. I order my hamburger with no onions because I hate them and a medium fry. As I am getting out of my car my bag tips over and my fries spill out on to the floor of my car. I was pissed. My fries were now completely unedible because my car is a disaster and the fries had been completely coated in dog hair, dust and a little bit of dirt. Gross. Instead of screaming I stomped to my classroom and waited for the bell to ring. As I opened up my burger to dig in I saw the aforementioned, loathed onions nestled happily on my hamburger bun. I scraped them off and ate my hamburger without any further incident.

Then came pre-AP. I have to give them some obligatory CAHSEE assignments and they were quite combative about it. They tried every argument they could think of to dissuade me, but I couldn't we have to do it. They grumbled and then grudingly wrote the practice essay. In the midst of it one of them asked how to spell CAHSEE. I decided to inform them that perhaps they did need the practice after all since they were not even capable of spelling the name of the test. I smiled and they silently cussed me out in their heads. Lovely.

Then came the drive home. I ended up behind every slow driving fuck wit imaginable. I still held in my scream and instead played angry Eminem songs, cussing along loudly to scare them as they looked in their rearview mirror. I think it may have worked as they sped up or got out of my way.

Now, I sit here, grandma is at home, I am in my pajamas and much calmer than I was during my Eminem tirade, but I still get only one new episode of BBF so there may be a tirade or two left in me yet.


  1. Dude, why was your grandma in your house? I'm sort of anti-social, but I'd change the locks. I hope things get better! :) And, you know, that your burns don't leave scars...

  2. so freakin it